


We Are What The Cold Wind Carries

by cupcakesandfanfics



Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Closeted Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, Social Justice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-07 19:05:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupcakesandfanfics/pseuds/cupcakesandfanfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis Tomlinson still hasn't figured out if it was the weather that froze his heart or his heart that froze the town. Either way, just because Harry belongs to one of the richest families in the city and quite literally has it all, doesn't mean he has it all. Harry will make quick work of Louis' icy facade; if only he were brave enough to light the fire in himself and face the stigma of homophobia.</p><p>OR Harry doesn't believe in himself because nobody believes in Harry, but Harry believes in Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let me make it up to you

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Cheers.

Harry waits in the cold, blowing warm breath into his hands, rubbing them together, trying to outlast mother nature. He leans against his black Dodge Challenger, an impressive car for anybody, but quite the head turner for a nineteen year old boy especially. 

The metal doors to the school swing open, Louis Tomlinson descends the icy stairs with an effortless grace while a breeze of snowflakes circle and dance around him, kissing his cheeks, nipping his nose. Loose strands of the boy’s dark walnut hair join the fun, playing lightly in the wind. The spectacle was enchanting to Harry and entirely familiar. Louis just had that allure- the earth always seemed to be on his side.

Louis lets out a sugary laugh. “So you are alive!” he calls forward, to Harry who shakes his head loose. “I tried calling, Lou, texting, everything I swear! I even emailed you!” Louis giggles another laugh “Who emails anymore?” Harry frowns, aware of the boy’s evasive techniques. “I didn’t mean to stand you up, I’m sorry, Louis. My Mom was out, and the girls were home alone, and it was windy, the power went out, I couldn’t just leave them!” 

"The ones you agreed not to babysit anymore?"

Louis looked to his conversational partner, piercing him with soft frosty blue eyes. “I understand, Harry. I would have done the same thing.” 

"But you’re still angry?" 

Louis shrugs. “Not angry, but being stood up is being stood up, no matter how you slice it.”

"I’ll make it up to you!"

"My schedule’s packed, mate." 

"What about right now?! Here, lets grab some coffee or something? Tea? I’ll drive us! I know a place!" Harry was almost jogging to keep up with the boy, which was odd considering his considerable height advantage. Louis didn’t seem to break a sweat. 

"I have a bus to catch, the stop’s right there."

"Oh come on, at least let me drive you home if you’ve got something to do"

Louis opens his mouth to speak but is interrupted by a familiar Irish accent “Louis!” Niall waves from the distance, standing before the bus stop. 

"Look, see? I’ve got Niall waiting for me, can’t leave him alone either." Louis winks. 

Harry blows out his breath, clearly flustered. “I’ll drive him home too!”

"You’d do that?" Louis eyes Harry who pouts, "I really want to make it up to you."

"Hiya Harry." Niall grins. Harry nods "Hey man" Louis frowns. "It’s closed." They all follow the boy’s eyes reading the paper taped to the blue bus sign. "BUS SERVICE CANCELLED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE ON ACCOUNT OF EXCESS SNOW"

Louis’ eyebrows furrow ever so slightly. “That’s ridiculous, it’s just drizzling or something.” Harry looks down, where the snow almost comes halfway up his leg.

"How long have you been waiting here, Ni?"

“‘Bout twelve minutes or so.” 

"You didn’t check the sign?"

Niall laughs, his rosy pink cheeks dimpling. “Guess not”

Louis smiles. “Lucky you’re cute, Ni.”

Harry smiles wider than the other two boy’s put together. “Looks like you’re stuck with me!” Niall looks to him puzzled, 

"Well fancy that." Louis says shaking his head, possibly in disbelief 

~

Louis waves to Niall as he climbs the steps to his house. 

"You sure I can’t interest you in that drink before I take you home? My treat, I swear."

Harry’s kindness seemed endless at this point, and no less persistent than a week ago, when the exact same ploy had scored him his date with Louis in the first place.

"You know, I was just going to study for biology, maybe I’d be more productive if I had a partner." Louis smiled, giving in. 

Harry grinned “Great! I’ll take you to my place then!” the growl of the engine seemed on par with Harry’s enthusiasm as they pulled away from the curb. 

~

Louis sat on the white leather sofa, textbook in his lap, eyeing his surroundings. It was the picture of luxury straight from the dictionary. White marble counter tops in the kitchen, maple hardwood in the living room, bay windows that peered into the snowy tree-top forest surrounding the home. Garnishes of silver and platinum tapestry could be seen all around the room. All of it made Louis feel like he didn’t belong.

"Two sugars? I guessed."

Louis smiled when Harry sat beside him on the couch and placed the warm mug in his hands. “Yeah, thanks, that’ll do it.”

There was a brief moment of silence as Louis held the cup to his lips and Harry couldn’t help but become envious.

He cleared his throat, having caught himself in his own stare. “So, erm, are you enjoying London so far? You just moved right?” 

Louis blinked twice, trying to remember when he had let that bit of information slip. “Yeah, I am, really nice place. Good people too!” 

Louis was no stranger to wealth, he himself had grown up in a family with a decent amount of cash but this… he couldn’t help but feel insignificant in this home. 

It reminded him of his father. A man who needed little more than material possession. A man no longer in his life.

"Everything okay?" Harry said, noting the fade of his company’s smile. 

Louis smoothed out his face into a passive smile. “Yeah, yeah, of course.” He set his mug down on the glass coffee table. “Anyway, we should start. Was there anything you wanted to focus on?”

Harry smiled sheepishly. “Well, actually.”

Harry had finally admit to being hopelessly lost on almost every topic. “How can I pay attention to the lectures when the only thing in the room worth paying attention to sits right in front of me?” 

Louis laughed his squinty eyed laugh “Do people actually say things that cheesy?” 

They’d blush a little every time their hands accidentally bumped. They tensed a little when their feet brushed over one another. They got horrendously off topic, talking about books and movies, TV shows, things they’d like to do when they got out of school, and when they had the money for it of course. 

"It really is a shame we didn’t get to do that dinner." Harry said, looking into Louis’ eyes. "I think it would have been fun." "Me too." Louis said softly.

From a few rooms over the door bell chimed happily.

"Expecting somebody?"

Harry frowned at his watch “I guess time sort of got away from me. I told zayn earlier that he should drop by.”

Louis nodded, packing up his things and sliding them into his vans backpack. 

Harry turned before passing the doorway, noticing. “Wait! Don’t leave yet, hang around with us. Zayn’s a nice guy, you’ll like him.”

Zayn Malik had a bit of a reputation around school for being the notorious bad boy. Ink slithered its way down the skin on his right arm, the rest of his body dotted in a doodle like image of this or that. Most of the time he was quiet, he smelled like stale cigarette smoke and he even used a motorcycle as his primary method of transportation in the warmer season. How many more cliches did a person have to fill out before they were labelled?

Louis scratched his head, fixing the hem of his shirt. “Yeah, I guess it can’t hurt to meet the guy.” Combing his fringe into submission with his fingers.

"You look great, Lou. Really, he’s a good guy." Harry tossed the most supportive smile he could manage and Louis ate it up like sunshine to flower petals, the warmth filling his stomach. 

He heard the door open from the other room, the standard greetings, and a few words of conversation while the voices trailed closer. 

"Zayn, This is my friend, Louis."

Louis smiled his practised smile. ” ‘s a Pleasure.”

Zayn nodded “Yeah, Louis Tomlinson, right? I’ve seen you a bit around school.” He looked between each boy. “I didn’t know you two knew each other though, Haz has never mentioned you.”

Odd, Louis thought. All of his friends knew about his date with Harry. 

Harry chuckled awkwardly. “Well, I’m not one to gossip. Anyway, man. Can I get you anything to drink? Me ‘n Louis were just hangin’ around.”

"Yeah, sure, I’ll take a tea if there’s any hot water left."

Zayn left the room, situating himself in the living room down the hall, obviously familiar with the house.

Louis’ eyelids fluttered a moment before it clicked in his head. “I’m such a fool” he thought to himself. 

"I thought Zayn was your best mate?"

Harry smiled and nodded, filling a mug for his friend. “Yeah, he is. Been friends probably five years now.”

"You didn’t tell him you had a date?" Louis eyed suspiciously. 

Harry’s hands stiffened. He looked down the hall, over Louis’ shoulder, speaking in a hushed tone. “My friends don’t exactly know I’m into guys.”

Louis sighed, the words confirming his belief. “So those girls earlier this year really were girlfriends then?” 

Harry frowned a bit. “I’m not a bad guy for having a couple relationships, Lou.” 

"The whole year knows the story, Harry. You fucked them and made off."

Harry faced away, setting down the mug, obviously hurt. “It’s not that simple. Things didn’t work out, I didn’t plan it that way..”

Louis picked his backpack off the floor, having packed it earlier.

"Louis? Come on, I thought we were having a great time, what changed so quickly? Did I say something? Is it Zayn? Once you get to know him I swear-"

Louis shook his head. “I made a promise to myself a long time ago that I wouldn’t hide who I am anymore. If you can’t even tell your best mate what you really feel, Harry… There’s no future for us.”

"Louis that’s not fair.. it’s not that easy."

The scenes played before Louis’ eyes, creeping around dark corners and empty hallways just to sneak a kiss, Harry bringing another girl to the senior dance at the end of the year, because he couldn’t bring his boy. It was all terribly, sickeningly, familiar. 

Louis’ hands balled into fists. “Not many things in life are fair, you just have to decide how much you want something, and if it’s worth the cost.”

The door flung open and frigid air howled through the entrance biting at Harry’s skin. He shivered, crossing his arms around his chest.

The door slammed shut again, without another word. The only evidence of Louis’ presence in the home was the pain in Harry’s heart, and the cold on his cheeks. 

"What happened to your friend? Did I say something?" Zayn said, stepping behind Harry. "I heard a bit of shouting."

"He got called away for dinner."

"Oh. He didn’t want a ride home? It’s damn cold out."

"No I guess he didn’t." Harry snapped back at his friend. 

Just like that Louis had gone from a ray of sunshine to the arctic cold he stepped out into, and Harry’s happiness had left with him. 

Harry’s lips quivered, the telltale sign somebody was about to cry.

It took weeks for Harry to work up the courage and ask Louis out on that date, and the weeks before that were spent building up courage for Harry to even introduce himself. 

It all felt like that unfair game of chess you played against the computer; like you were outmatched in ways that were difficult to fathom. 

But Harry knew coming out wasn’t an option. Not with parents that frowned upon it, and friends that regularly made comments like “Dude, that’s gay” and the nefarious “Don’t be a fag about it”

And so Louis trudged down the long snow covered driveway to the main street, cursing himself the entire way down. “Things will be different in this city, Louis” he mirrored the phrase in a mocking tone. “Somebody will love you just the way you are.” The memories bounced around his head. 

"A fucking record stuck on repeat, is what it is." He snarled to the thin air. "Why do I keep giving people chances?"

He spat into the snowbank. “I hate being so nice all the time.”


	2. The Calm In The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even the mightiest of winds can be diverted by stone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii! thanks for reading!

Harry set a paper cup of tea down on the table before Louis who looked up from his book. ”Morning, Lou.” 

Louis nodded in response.

"That’s for you by the way."

The boy eyed the beverage. “No drinks allowed in the Library, you know?” Harry giggled a bit “Tell me about it, I had to smuggle it in here for you! Mrs. Chearton almost caught me, who knows what she would have done.. four years of forced labour, dusting maybe? Perhaps banished me to literary hell, where the only books available are Catcher in The Rye and Macbeth.” Harry giggled a moment at his own joke.

"I liked Macbeth." He picked up the cup, wafting the steaming aroma from within. "This is for me?"

Harry smiled. “Lemon grass, your favorite.”

Louis crooked an eyebrow. “How’d you know that was my favourite?” 

Harry blushed, unwilling to admit the true source of the information, which was most definitely the caption on an instagram photo. “I listen when you talk.”

It was louis’ turn to blush. ” ‘s very thoughtful of you, mate.”

Harry rolled his eyes internally, frustrated by the subtle jab the boy across from him had made. The term mate was reserved for friends. Nobody called a romantic interest mate unless of course you were being literal and there fore referring to the biological term. Social distancing, they call that. 

"I’m sorry I upset you the other day, I seem to be doing a lot of that lately."

Louis took a drink carefully, setting the cup down and looking to his book again. “I don’t really want to talk about it, Harry.”

Harry sighed. “But if we don’t talk about it we’ll never move forward.” Louis shot him a look. “I didn’t know there was a forward.”

Harry blinked twice, face remaining passive. “You don’t need to be so aggressive.” Louis looked back to his book again. “I’ve told you already, I’m not going to hide who I am, Harry. If you want to be friends, I’ll give it a shot, but if you’re looking for anything more.. you’re out of luck.”

The grand windows of the Library rattled. The old glass and wood shaking in their bindings, battered by twirling snow drifts and howling winds. The wind was trying to break in, Harry thought. So it could throw a few punches of it’s own.

More and more picking a fight with Louis seemed to be like picking a fight with the world. Harry woke up feeling drowsy and tired, looking in the mirror his teeth didn’t seem as white as usual, and he had given up moulding his curls into any sensible style, instead opting for a beanie.

Louis could be calmed, Harry thought. Cooed into peace with gifts and soft glances, but mother nature? Where do you even begin?

"I’m just scared, Lou. Scared that people like Zayn or Liam wouldn’t even give me a second glance after they’d found out." 

"You’ve known Zayn since you were fourteen, Harry. After all those years you think he’d just up and go so easily?"

Harry looked down, twiddling his thumbs. “I’d hope not. I don’t think I’d be able to do it alone.”

Louis grunted. Almost sounded like a laugh, but underneath the icy tone Harry heard the notes of empathy. ”I did it on my own.”

 

"Maybe I’m not as strong as you, Louis. Maybe I don’t have it all figured out, maybe, just maybe, your parents aren’t openly homophobic."

Louis slammed shut his book leaning forward to hiss and growl whispers only meant for Harry. “Don’t you dare preach to me about tough times, Harry. I certainly didn’t have it easy. Find strength in something, Harry, and find it damn quick because one day you’re going to plan for tomorrow, that’ll be the day you’re true to yourself, and next thing you know that day was yesterday and that’s it, Harry. That’ll be your life. One big masquerade.”

Harry blinked back tears, swallowing the hard lump in his throat. 

The two boys sitting in silence, words absorbing into Harry’s skin. “So help me Louis.” Harry croaked out finally. “Before it’s too late.”

Louis blinked, taken aback. “When I said find strength in something Harry..” He had just pelted Harry with words like frozen icicles, fully intending to hurt the boy, but Harry didn’t budge. He didn’t even seem angry at Louis.

"I found the strength in your sugary sweet laugh when I asked you out on that date, Louis; and the strength to ask your forgiveness in the crinkles by your eyes when you smile. Please, Louis."

Why was Harry being so kind in the face of pessimism? 

Harry reached across the table, taking the boy’s hands in his own.

Louis stuttered. “I-I don’t know if I can. That’s a tall order..”

"But you’ll try?"

Louis could see through Harry’s watery green orbs how much he wanted to be free. This wasn’t about one night stands anymore, or quiet kisses and loud sex. This was about allowing somebody to grow. Freeing their heart from it’s cage. How could Louis say no?

"Yes.. Yes, Harry. I’ll be there for you."

Harry’s features softened. He smiled, though his eyes still watery. 

Louis smiled, the boy across from his was all curls and glow. It was contagious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love any kind of feedback!


	3. Sulphur and Snow

The two boys exited the Library, and it was hard for anybody to miss Harry's renewed spirits. He bounced in his steps like a child descending the stairs on Christmas morning. 

Louis looked behind them in the hallway to assure they were alone. "You're really that excited about coming out?" 

Harry looked to him and blushed, suddenly aware of his own bubbling cheeriness. "I'm excited I still have a chance with you, Louis." He reached for the boy's hand. 

Louis hesitated, offering a smile, but retracting his hand gently. "I like you Harry.. I do. But it's easy for anybody to make promises."  
Memories bounced around Louis' head, voices of the last person to utter words like that. Lips pressing to his neck, a hand sliding down his hip. He shook his head free of the fog and willed away the chill spreading through his skin. 

Harry nodded. "I understand. I didn't mean to push."

"Besides" Lou giggled, keeping the mood light. "There's bigger problems in life to consider than who will keep you warm at night."  
It didn't seem like it, Harry thought. Nothing in the world seemed bigger than Louis. The boy consumed his thoughts. 

"Hey! Styles!" Liam raised a hand. "You're still coming tonight, right?"

Harry's eyes wandered the ceiling, trying to recall what today was. 

Liam sighed. "It's friday, Harry. The Christmas dance?"

Harry massaged the bridge of his nose. "Oh, jesus. The one with our parents?"

The Styles and Payne family had long been friends, connected through partnerships. Attending the lame Christmas party that their company put on each year was not only obligatory but a pact in the friendship of both boys. 

"Mate you can't leave me all alone with my Dad and his work friends. Especially not after you left me for that tramp last year." Liam pouted for dramatic effect.

Harry laughed uneasily, looking to Louis who crooked an eyebrow in curiosity.

"This is my.. erm- this is Louis!" Harry said gesturing to his friend. 

"Yeah, we had biology last semester, right? I'm Liam" 

Louis shook his outstretched hand. "Yeah, I remember. Good to see you again, mate."

"Anyway, I'm already late for class, boys. You have plans tonight Louis?"

"Me? I-er, well there's that uh.." 

Liam grinned. "Great! Then it's your job to see that Harry actually shows up tonight."  
"It's all adults and it's always shit, Lou.. you'd hate it, really."  
"Sure, man!" Louis grinned, ignoring Harry's protests "Sounds fun."

"It's set then, he'll pick you up at nine, the place is a bit hard to find." He pointed a finger in Harry's face. "And You! No excuses! No ditching! There's going to be lots of drinks on me, we're going to get very drunk, embarrass ourselves, and enjoy it." Liam walked off with the last glare of expectancy. 

Harry sighed watching his friend round the corner "You're not actually coming, are you?"  
"You kidding, Hazza? The lad said drinks are on him. I'm there."

Harry's face lit up "Oh! Great! That's great! I mean, sometimes it gets boring, but it'll be fun this year!"

Louis laughed at his giddy response. "Yeah, sure, you'll have to introduce me to those babes Liam mentioned. I've been on the lookout for a new girl lately." He walked with his hands behind his head, exaggerating confidence.

"Heyyyyyy" Harry drawled "You don't mean that!"

~

Harry stood in front of his closet door mirror, holding different ties to his chest. 

"Mate, why you spending so much time picking out what you wear anyway? It's just a bunch of old business goons." Zayn sounded from his laptop sat on the bed behind him. 

Because, Harry thought to himself, he's got a date to impress this time. Would you call this a date? Could you even call it a date? Technically Louis never said..  
He turned towards the open skype window 'What about this one, man?" Zayn shrugged. " 'S just a black tie, Haz. Looks fine. I don't know why you're nervous. Liam's going to be here in a minute though, I'll see you there." The video call chirped closed.  
Harry sighed at his image in the mirror, content but not enthusiastic with his appearance.

He bound down the stairs car keys jingling in hand. "Harold?" A gruff voice caught him.

He stepped into the sitting room where his parents sat, idly waiting out the minutes in their suit and gown. His father gave him a once over from head to toe. "No tie?"

"I couldn't find one I liked." 

"And what about a date? You bringing one of those pretty girls you had around here the other day?" Harry grew frustrated. "Anne? Dad, I haven't seen Anne in months."

"Then who you bringing?"

"A friend, Dad. Alright? I'm bringing a friend from school." Eyes bore down on him. "Friend eh? What's her name?"  
Harry sighed, massaging his eyebrows with his hand. "He, Dad. His name is Louis."

The man scoffed, putting his tea down. "Look at me when I'm talkin' to you, boy. Put your damn hand down."

His mother looked up from her the paper she was reading, startled by the commotion. "Oh, RIchard. No need to yell."

Harry's body tensed up, a flame growing in his veins.

"Now what am I supposed to tell all my co-workers? Hm? That my loser son can't hold on to a decent girl more than a couple weeks, so he brought his playground pal along?" 

"Richard.. leave the boy alone. It's hard enough growing up as it is." The woman placed a hand on his father's arm. 

Harry didn't respond, his blood boiled and hissed in his ears. He yearned to lash out at the man, strike him down. 

"No smart mouth response to that one, hm, boy? Go pick up your friend, and God above he had better be presentable." 

Harry turned and strolled out the front door of the house, careful not to allow the signs of his rage betray him. 

The snow pelted his sweltering skin, melting on contact. He slid into the seat of his challenger, starting the engine with a thunderous roar. Sitting in the hum and darkness of an early winter's night, his chest heaved, frigid air fighting the fire in his soul. 

He slammed the steering wheel, "DAMMIT."

Harry was a fool to think even a small detail like that would pass his father unscrutinised. 

 

By the time he had reached Louis' house, he was no longer ablaze, but not quite calm either. 

Louis slid into the passenger seat, a chill descending over the cabin of the car. Harry shivered, the last of his rage evaporating into steam and joining the snowflakes that drifted by the glass of the vehicle.

"You look beautiful, Louis."  
A slim fitted ashy gray suit jacket hugged Louis' curves, only done up by one button. Below it, a simple white dress shirt, the buttons studded with jewels of onyx, accented by suspenders that clipped into his dress pants and tugged them into a form that made perfect use of his tight hips. His hair was gelled up into a quiff, a light dusting of facial hair across his cheeks and chin. A vision worth marvelling at.

The boy grinned. "Thank you, Harold. You look quite dapper yourself"

Harry winced at Louis' choice of name, the same one his father had addressed him by only a short time ago.

The twitch didn't pass by unnoticed. "What's wrong?"

"It's- It's, well, it's nothing really. Just a little family disagreement before I left." Harry swallowed, hoping his friend wouldn't pick up on anything more. This was supposed to be a fun night, and Harry was determined to keep it that way. As fun as partying with a group thrice your age could get, anyway. 

"I'm sure it'll work out, Harry. Whatever it was." 

~

The boys pulled up to a brightly lit hall. Liam and Zayn sat on the hood of Liam's truck, rubbing their hands in the cold. 

Liam was in the classic black and white suit, similar to Harry's. While Zayn had a leather jacket in place of his suit jacket. Normally that kind of disregard would be frowned upon by the men and women of business, but they had watched Zayn grow up. It was tradition for him to accompany Liam, and therefore accepted. 

Harry frowned into the snow, wondering why nobody questioned Liam when he brought a boy as his guest. 

"Finally." Zayn said, sliding off the vehicle and flicking his cigarette into the bank. 

Liam cupped both the boy's shoulders "Good 'ta see you guys! Ready to get smashed?!" 

Louis reached into his inner jacket pocket, brandishing a bronze flask, and smiling devilishly. 

"What're you drinking tonight, Louis?"

He screwed the cap off, holding it to the boy's nose. "True northern whiskey, boys!"

"Jesus! That stuffs lethal! Must be at least ten years old?" Liam looked impressed.

Zayn's nose crinkled. "That'll burn a hole right through 'ya. I commemorate you, sir."

Harry smiled, golden sunlight and fondness. If there was an easy way to win the hearts of his friends, it was certainly through the drink.  
Louis breathed out, relieved he was making good first impressions. 

The next hours seemed to float by. Louis' nerves came and went in cycles, depending on the situation, and how intimidating the adult speaking to them was. 

The boy's flasks emptied while their veins overflowed and their posture swayed to the rhythm of the music. 

Lights eventually dimmed as even the adults became filled with festive cheer, dancing and laughing. 

Louis laughed too, into Harry's neck, pressing their bodies together on the dance floor. "Everyone's too busy to pay attention, Hazza" his words sloshed around. 

Harry giggled, for once in his life he was the one to deny Louis' advancements when it was usually the other way around. He pushed Louis back gently by the wrist, "Don't get too cocky, babe"

Louis hummed and whispered into his ear. "I like it when you call me babe." The hot breath on Harry's face playing tricks on his body. He pulled at his belt.

The two boys span, grabbing at each other's hips, clothing, necks, breathing into each other. Harry growled into Louis' ear "I know a place a bit more private than this"

The hallway was dim, lit only by the flashes from the dance floor, the music lower with a few walls between them. 

Alcohol slammed through the boys, their words slicked and syrupy. 

"I've wanted you to myself for so long, Lou" Harry whispered into the boy's ear, pushing his back against the wall. "How long, Harry?" Louis bit and sucked marks lightly up Harry's neck, inching to the lobe of his ear.

"Jesus.. months..two..maybe three" His head lulled and bobbed from side to side in ecstasy, eyes closed and faced to the sky. He gripped Louis hips hard, swaying them in tight circles against his own body. "I've wanted you so bad Louis.. I think about you all the time.." 

"Keep talking" Louis whispered into his ear, hot breath like melted sugar dripping down Harry's skin.

"You're everything I want in a boy.."

"Man." Louis corrected sharply, turning to the other side of Harry's neck.

"So much for taking it slow." he groaned, writhing under the boy's touch.  
Louis' lips paused on Harry's red skin.Tilting his head up to face him, through his blurry vision. "What do you mean?"

Harry looked at him with a pause, like it should have been immediately obvious."You keep saying you want to take it slow, yesterday you said you didn't want me at all. Now you're marking my neck."

Louis stood up straight, wiping his wet lips on the back of his hand. "Why does it matter? We're here now."

Harry's head slumped onto the boy's shoulder. "Maybe that's easy for you to say. Some days you're here, some days you're not. I feel like I'm being played." He laughed, but it was clear his point was serious. 

Louis let out a long drawn sigh. Idly asking himself why everybody in this day and age felt the need to label and categorize everything. Friends, Boyfriends, lovers, what does it matter? 

"You certainly know how to kill a mood, Haz." He slid down the wall, patting the space on the tile floor next to him. "C'mon, man. Have a seat."

Harry plopped down beside him, his head falling back against the wall.

"what do you want me to say, Harry?"

The boy pouted, his curls dishevelled. "I want you to tell me what I'm doing wrong."

Louis smiled, raising a hand to Harry's cheek. "Absolutely nothing at all, baby. Not one thing." His voice was soft, free of it's usual stinging chill. "It just takes time I guess. You have to be careful, You fall in love with someone and they become your biggest weakness."  
Harry's nose crinkled, "It's not a game of god damn chess, Louis."

"Even a pawn can take the king, Harry. Wouldn't you guard your pieces carefully if you knew what waited for them in war?"

Harry shook his head. "Forget the chess metaphor, I shouldn't have brought it up, I'm too drunk to carry it through."

Louis felt his chest, slow and heavy. He wanted to run away, run from these feelings and run from Harry. It was terrifying to feel so utterly vulnerable. Exposed down to the core; and yet, every fibre of his beating heart told him to surrender fully to this boy.  
He released Harry's face, his hands pooling into his lap as he looked to the ground "Just have patience, Haz. Don't give up on me yet."  
"No! No! Of course not!" Harry cooed. "I'd wait an eternity for you Louis."

"That's just the alcohol talking."

Harry reached into the boy's lap, holding his hands in his own. "I want to hold you, and watch you grow. I want to hug you every day and tell you how impossibly easy you make everything feel. Like things just work when you're around, you know?"

Louis blinked

"And when you're ready to be loved, Louis, I will love you in every way it is possible to love somebody."

Louis' eyes watered, rims filling but never flooding to release a tear. He sunk into Harry's body, tight arms wrapping around him.

Maybe walls are made to be broken. Or climbed at the very least, Louis thinks. Maybe when you're surrounded by the right people there doesn't have to be walls at all.

For isn't it curious, that the king on the chessboard should find himself surrounded not by stone, but by friends. Loyal knights. Even a lover to his right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, love any kind of feedback!

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love some feedback, and tell me if you want to see more.


End file.
